Ugh... My beef jerky project is an epic fail. It tastes like boring, mossy bark.
I had no clue how to make it. But I imagined the joy of my assorted men as they happily chawed on bits of jerky, soooo much better than any store bought stuff. I pondered canning in in tiny half pint jars to ration it as they eagerly asked for more and more. I envisioned the various hiding places I would store it in and then randomly pull out a jar much to the delight of the room.
I wondered if it would somehow get included in various family member's annual Christmas letters. I was sure it would show up in funny family pics as accidental banter.... "We were chewing on mom's famous jerky when suddenly __________ ".
I was confident that a major food label would be in contact with me shortly and I could retire.
Yeah, no. It was crunchy pieces of cardboard from a shipping box that was handled by many delivery people. It was bark. Tree bark that was dry and only touched by squirrel feet. Waaaahhhhh!
So I won't share the recipe source to protect the innocent. I am sure it was me somehow. I used worstechire sauce, liquid smoke, soy sauce, some brown sugar, salt, pepper and massively expensive London Broil. Which I had to ask for. Because I don't fully understand meat. I asked the butcher for a slab of it. And I foolishly didn't ask for it to be sliced because it was more home steady to do that myself using the partial freezing technique. My arm still hurts.
I marinated it for 18 hours which was 6 more than suggested. It smelled awesome!!!!! I checked to make sure my mail was available for the major food labels benefit, easy to get a hold of me and all.
I don't have a dehydrator so I used oven method which was 250° for 4 hours. Then, since I didn't have a drying rack, I rigged the most ingenious system of using shishkabob skewers and hang in the meat THROUGH the oven rack which I moved to top position. I was so set.
At 3 hours they were already getting crumbly and were definitely dry, so we pulled them out and got ready for the first bite that we would always remember.... And all it was was meh.
I had no clue how to make it. But I imagined the joy of my assorted men as they happily chawed on bits of jerky, soooo much better than any store bought stuff. I pondered canning in in tiny half pint jars to ration it as they eagerly asked for more and more. I envisioned the various hiding places I would store it in and then randomly pull out a jar much to the delight of the room.
I wondered if it would somehow get included in various family member's annual Christmas letters. I was sure it would show up in funny family pics as accidental banter.... "We were chewing on mom's famous jerky when suddenly __________ ".
I was confident that a major food label would be in contact with me shortly and I could retire.
Yeah, no. It was crunchy pieces of cardboard from a shipping box that was handled by many delivery people. It was bark. Tree bark that was dry and only touched by squirrel feet. Waaaahhhhh!
So I won't share the recipe source to protect the innocent. I am sure it was me somehow. I used worstechire sauce, liquid smoke, soy sauce, some brown sugar, salt, pepper and massively expensive London Broil. Which I had to ask for. Because I don't fully understand meat. I asked the butcher for a slab of it. And I foolishly didn't ask for it to be sliced because it was more home steady to do that myself using the partial freezing technique. My arm still hurts.
I marinated it for 18 hours which was 6 more than suggested. It smelled awesome!!!!! I checked to make sure my mail was available for the major food labels benefit, easy to get a hold of me and all.
I don't have a dehydrator so I used oven method which was 250° for 4 hours. Then, since I didn't have a drying rack, I rigged the most ingenious system of using shishkabob skewers and hang in the meat THROUGH the oven rack which I moved to top position. I was so set.
At 3 hours they were already getting crumbly and were definitely dry, so we pulled them out and got ready for the first bite that we would always remember.... And all it was was meh.
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